Operation: Hot Mother’s Day

I get my love of rock and roll, my good spelling skills, and my dirty, feral pig of a mouth from my father.

But I gotta say I get my morbid mind, my warped sense of humor, my love of graveyards and aliens and anything creepy from the one who spilled me forth from her quivering loins. The Mother. My mother.

I probably owe some part of my deformed writer’s brain and cynicism to her.  Without that I’d probably be unnaturally trusting and crashing in some balding dude’s basement and wearing overalls and working on a loading dock.

In fact, my mother is an interesting creature; one who many admire for her ability to jet set the country and live life her way. Over the years, through emails, phone conversations and texts I’ve kept notes on her choicest quotes (Hey, I’m a writer – it isn’t right until I’m pilfering your words).

So, in honor of Mother’s Day and beautiful and kooky words, the below are random quotes spliced over our photos straight from my mother’s mouth. She should get her due, because hell, she’s got some great zingers.

I love you, mom.

Thanks for making me weird.



Guys, I swear to christ these are real quotes.

IMG_20140510_141538IMG_20130521_20535944nurse IMG_20140510_141546 dfdfd DSC0147944

And I love you, Mother.

And I love you, Mother.

No Comments
  • Reply

    Marsha Stewart

    May 11, 2014 at 9:28 pm

    I see you’ve included the ‘mullet’ photo. Funny stuff daughter. Did I really say all of those things. I do hope Mark Wahlberg reads it. Does he follow you on Twitter?

  • Reply

    Brian Stoll

    May 12, 2014 at 3:02 pm


    Brian Stoll

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