The Escape Latch: Foiling Serial Killers’ Plans since 1972

Posted: February 5, 2012 in Uncategorized

Batten Down the Escape Latch, bitches.

I discovered this little ditty on/underneath? the lid of my trunk as I was unloading groceries. I immediately was stunned and then proceeded to snap a photo and plot my escape route should I ever find myself in my own trunk.

I felt this photo deserved its own quick blog post.

Really, Billy, don't be a hero.

Things that are amazing about this:

1. This release latch may be in other cars, but I have not seen it…so I am assuming my car is badass enough to warrant kidnapping someone. Future profession noted.

2. Then again, who would ever know about the escape latch other than me, so is it expected that my car will be hijacked and I’ll be the one in the trunk? This is disconcerting at best.

3. Again, the expected kidnapping situation going on here.

4. The mere fact that it shows the person leaping—nay fleeing—from the trunk of the car.

5. The whole kidnapping factor.

 That is all. Check your trunks for escape latches and practice your stick-man run.

Comments
  1. Don’t worry sister. If that were to happen (if you were to be kidnapped) I would call in Liam Neeson to save you. Hehe.

    On a serious note, this is very interesting! I have never seen this before. I think it means that your car is truly badass.

    • OMG, sister, you made me laugh so hard. Oh, you mean this choice quote from TAKEN?

      “I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. “

  2. Haha! Hysterical and frightening all at the same time. I don’t have one of those, but I know my car is not badass enough to deserve that kind of mojo because it’s a hatchback. I had you pegged for a Mercedes Coupe kind of girl, or something more gangsta, but I guess I was waaay off base! Great blog post. Made me SMILE! Unfortunately my stick man run will be more like an oval man run. (Recovering Art Teacher – gotta get those basic shapes in somewhere!)

  3. Susan Tepper says:

    I found this is extremely interesting, as I’ve often thought of becoming a serial killer myself. My serial victims would be men I’ve known as more than passing acquaintances. Not that there was necessarily sex involved– with some of them a tarantula had more appeal. But I would serialize my victims as “the unrepentant.” The bad boys who will never see how evil they truly are. Thanks for this tip, Jules…

  4. Kath says:

    Not to rain on your parade, but my car has one of these and it’s basically the ultmate mom car. This makes me wonder if there is a certain demographic of car owners who are more likely to be kidnapped or something.

    I have to say that even though these little glow in the dark trunk poppers are highly convenient, should I ever find myself in the trunk, I think I’d use that as a last resort. I learned you’re supposed to punch out the tail light and flag someone down for help if you’re kidnapped and I would just HAVE to see if I was badass to pull something like that off before turning to the escape latch. But then again, I’d probably end up dead, so…

    • You are such a killjoy, Kath. I guess I just thought my car was special…alas, we both have kidnapping latches. How come you never informed me of this? Yes, I really want to try the punch-the-tail light trick too. We could live…I think…

  5. Ha! Dodge Challenger! Bad ass indeed. I hired Mugsy Phlegmming, the Last of the Hard Boiled Dicks to run that down for me. Also Susan, you’re scaring the children (me).

  6. Harley May says:

    Absolutely badass and it most definitely deserves it’s own blog post.

  7. Berit says:

    I also want to note that the escape handle seems to be fluorescent/glow in the dark for the victims to be able to find it even in the dark.

    Very awesome! Every car should have one of these. Plus a tiny hammer to break the car windows.

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