Archive for February, 2010

10 Jobs: #7

Posted: February 25, 2010 in Uncategorized

7. Interviewer.

“Where are you going?”

“To a movie.”

“Appropriate content?”

“I—I think so. Something with singing…dancing…”

“There’re no clowns in it, correct?”

“Clowns? I don’t—”

“Jake!” his sister snaps, running down the hall. “Leave him alone.” Sally links her arm through a guy who looks suspiciously too much like James Dean for Jake’s taste.

Jake smirks. “Hell, it’s your very first date, Sally. Thought I’d pass along some ol’ Jake Baker wisdom. Now just where is my camera?”

“You can keep your wisdom to yourself, jackass.” Now it’s Sally’s time to smirk. “Besides, it may be my first date, but it ain’t my first time.”

Both Jake and Sally’s date blink.

10 Jobs: #6

Posted: February 15, 2010 in Uncategorized

6. Bouncer.

“Ma. Was it him?”

His ma laughs, an angry sad sound. She pulls out a sauce pan and dumps a few cans of chicken noodle soup in it. Sighing, she faces her son. “Yes, Jake. And I know he said it wouldn’t happen again and stupid me, I believed him.”

Reaching out, she hugs her son. “But no more. I know now. Kicked him to the curb.”

Jake eyes her split lip. “Where does he live?” She hesitates and Jake raises his voice. “Ma, tell me.”

Resigned, she gives him the address. “Don’t get into trouble, Jake. I ain’t got bail money for you.”

10 Jobs: #5

Posted: February 9, 2010 in Uncategorized

5. Lawyer.

Jake’s never really found the need for a job before. Nothing’s interested him enough to keep his attention. Not to mention the fact that after four tiresome years he’s finally done with high school and he’d be a fool not to relish his freedom while he has it. His mom provides and Jake’s content letting her. Even Brian, who seemed bound and determined to slack the majority of his life, went and got militarized. And it wouldn’t be the first time he’s shown Jake up.

But now seeing her, Jake figures he needs a job.

Or at least a good cover story.

Jake scoots into the diner, swiping an unattended briefcase resting next to a pair of suits at the counter. It’s heavy in his hands as he makes his way over to her booth. She’s hunkered down in the seat, drawing on a napkin and smoking. Jake rests the edge of the briefcase on the sticky tabletop causing her to glance up in surprise.

“I’m a lawyer,” is his opening line and he commends himself for his originality. 

Flipping the doodled napkin over, the girl arches a brow. “Really? By the looks of your clothes I’d say you belonged in the gutter.”

Jake clutches his chest. “You really cut me to the core, sweetheart, you know that?”

“I think you handle that all on your own.” She smirks, ashing her cigarette. “So, what do you practice?”

“Animal law.”

“I don’t really want to know what that means.” The girl wipes her lanky hair out of her face, staring at him. She’s cute, with big blue eyes, and if Jake squints just right she could be blonde, so he figures he’ll give her a chance.

“Yep, at the firm of Whogivesashit.”

She laughs and extends a hand. “I’m Kathy.”

“The name’s Baron Chesterfield the fifth.”

10 Jobs: #4

Posted: February 5, 2010 in Uncategorized

4. Nurse Maid.

“So how’d you earn this?” Jake asks, sitting on the bed across from Brian. He scrutinizes his brother’s busted face.

“Goddamn, Maggie.” Brian takes the ice pack Jake hands him. “You got any aspirin, man?”

Jake heads to the bathroom. Hunting around, he finds a bottle of aspirin in the medicine cabinet next to two condoms that aren’t his. He doesn’t want to know which woman in his household they belong to.

Shaking off the thought, he pours four into Brian’s hand. “You call her fat again, Brian?”

Brian smirks from behind his black eye. He’s been home six months Jake doesn’t think he’s going away any time soon. “She asked if I wanted to get married one day.”

Jake groans, knowing the rest of the story isn’t going to end happily.

“So, I told her, sure, one day I’d want to get married and that whenever she got married, I’d be honored to get an invite.”

Jake laughs. “Brian, you’re going to hell.”

“Jake, that crazy broad wants to get married, to me.”

“Yeah, believe me, she could do better.”

“Jesus Christ.” Brian hangs his head. “I ain’t ready for this bullshit.” He dry swallows the aspirin and stretches out across the bed.

Jake tosses Brian a blanket. “At least she’s blonde.”

Brian smiles. “Not really.”